We rarely eat out anywhere other than in London and over the last decade have got used to uniformly smiling service. Apparently, some rural establishments have yet to cotton on …

For our first dog-accompanied pointless outing in two years we meandered over to Felixstowe. With the time nearing 2.00pm, we parked outside a popular pub and I rushed in to ask if they sold sandwiches. The surly bartender handed over a big plastic-sealed menu, pointed at the baguettes and said, 'You'll have to hurry up, the kitchen closes in two minutes'. I did hurry up, ordering the least repellent fillings and getting out my wallet to pay. Surly bartender then told me I couldn’t place the order without a table number.

The Catch-2pm situation saw me racing into the garden to find an empty table, racing back inside to secure the order and racing back to the car to get husband and dog. As I re-approached the bar to buy drinks, I saw two flustered women leaving and Mr Hospitality 2022 saying to his colleague, 'If they come back, tell them I tore up their order as we are closed'.

I am happy to tell any Ukrainian refugee wanting a job where their services are needed.